I'm Back!

So I haven't posted for a while, last time I did was about this time last year actually.  I am currently writing a creative piece for my year 12 literature class which is about teen pregnancy, and it made me think that maybe I should keep posting.  My son, Jordan, has just had surgery earlier this week which has been absolutely exhausting, and incredibly tough seeing him so distraught.  Since this time last year, Jordan's dad, Will, has entered into a relationship with another girl.  Besides the fact that I am eighteen years old and I had to cope with my ex-boyfriend (who I was still in love with at the time) moving on with someone else, I was forced to deal with the fact that my family would probably never be a 'real family' again. In my mind, Jordan deserved a family with his mum and dad who love each other very much, and possibly younger siblings in the future.  So when Will moved on, I was absolutely shattered that I would never be able to give him this.  Over the past few months of having little to no contact with Will (only ever speaking about Jordan or dropping him off) I think I have come to realise that Jordan is probably better off with the two of us not being together, I know I am certainly better off that way now.  I have realised that we didn't have a healthy relationship, and probably haven't had a healthy relationship since shortly after Jordan was born, but I kept fighting. I know this is probably a problem that many teen mums face, with statistics saying that most couples who have a baby in the teen years either break up or have a fluctuating relationship after the child is born.  I am not about to claim that teen mum should leave their partner if they have a fluctuating relationship because I know how incredibly difficult such a thing is to do.  But I have decided that a child is not a reason to stay with someone.  Although I am still single, and he has moved on, it is better that I am on my own and focussed solely on Jordan and school at the moment.  Perhaps someone will come along one day soon and sweep me off my feet, but I'm not going to get my hopes up until Uni next year.  It is extremely difficult to deal with the fact that I am unable to get to know people on the same level as my friends do because I have a child, and it scares most guys off, but I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that one day someone won't be afraid of the responsiblity, and that they will welcome Jordan and I into their lives with open arms.  However, for someone to be able to do that they need to have an incredible amount of maturity.  Again, this is something most teen mums need to realise, something I didn't realise until recently, that just because you have a child and you are a single mother at the age of 18 or even younger, doesn't mean the only guy that will ever want to be with you is the father of your child, in fact, there could be someone even better out there that you haven't even met yet, you just need to be patient.